Wishing you were some how here again
by Elentari-Ellena
Summary: Hermione is broken, Harry comforts her. A challenge fic involving Harry, Hermione
1. dust fallen

Hi, I'm not Elentari, but she asked me to upload this without giving it an introduction. So here I am. It will be a Harry/Hermione fic, as I gave her the task of writing me a fic with Harry, Hermione and a piano in it *g* Standard Disclaimers apply. Not my fault if your foolish enough to think J.K. Rowling has time to write internet fics in between counting her money and playing with new babies... :D Anyway time to let Elentari show you what she's made of *hugs her* 

The house was quiet apart the distant sound of music as he walked through the house and upstairs. He knew where she would be. He climbed the second flight of stairs with the music getting louder as he entered the room. Suddenly the music stopped. 

"I thought I would come see how you were." 

"How did you get here?" 

"Oh, flu powder." 

"Of course." 

"How have you been?" 

"Okay." 

Harry moved closer to her. He knelt in front of her and looked at her, he couldn't bear to see her like this. Her face looked thin and gaunt, there were little black bags under her eyes, which were swollen from her tears and sleepless nights. 

He looked into her sad eyes. She held his gaze for a moment before averting her eyes onto the floor. 

"Hermione, when was the last time you slept?" 

"I dunno. Couple of days ago." 

He sighed, "Why don't you try and get some sleep. I'll stay here and tidy up." 

Hermione didn't say anything; he took her hand and led her out of the attic room down a small flight of stairs and into her and Ron's bedroom. He helped her into bed then sat at her side. 

"Try and get some sleep now." 

Hermione slumped onto her side. "I can't sleep, I hate sleeping in this bedroom by myself." One small frustrated tear fell from her eye. 

"Come on now, your not alone. I'm here, why don't we give you a spell to help you slee..." 

But before he could finish, she had angrily jumped in, saying "No! No magic! Not now, not ever." 

"You don't mean that." Harry said calmly 

"Yes, yes I do. I don't need magic anymore, I can do it by myself. Now leave me alone." 

Harry was stunned by her reaction to his suggestion of using magic - magic practically ruled her life. 

He shut the bedroom door and went down stairs. The house was an utter mess. He went into the lounge and started to tidy the dust-encased mess. He removed crockery into the kitchen, but where the crockery had been was clean and the area around it was still encased in dust. 

Once the lounge was clean he started on the kitchen, there was a pungent smell in the air and Harry soon found where it was coming from. On one of the work surfaces there was a small blue lunchbox. Inside was a lunch that must have been weeks old (two weeks 3 days to be exact.) 

He was just about to throw it away when a voice of horror behind him said, "What are you doing?" 

She had made him jump. "Oh, Hermione. I was just gonna throw this out." 

"Don't touch that! You can't touch that, that was his!" she screamed at him. 

"Hermione it's mouldy." 

She ran to him and snatched it off him. 

"It's his! Leave it alone! Never touch his things!" 

She went into the lounge, stopped and looked around. 

"What have you done?" she could hardly breathe "What have you done?" Everything from that day was gone, and this room would never be like how he had seen it, like it was the last time he was here. 

She slid down onto the floor. 

"It had to be left. It had to stay the same. Why did you do this?!" Her anger now built up inside her she stood up and through her tears she shouted. 

"You bastard! You fucking bastard!" She lunged at him, but he grabbed her and wrapped his arms around her. She struggled to get free, but it was hopeless - he kept his grip on her, hugging her firmly. 

Her anger melted into sorrow and her body shook with her tears. He gently lowered them to the ground, still keeping a tight grip on her. 

"It's ok, let it out." he kissed her head and what had just happened hit him hard in the chest. She was in so much pain. He couldn't bear to see her in so much pain. 

"Why did he have to go Harry? Why him?" 

"I know, I know." Now he couldn't control himself, his own tears now poured from his eyes. He cried as hard as she did. 

Together they sat and cried, both hearts raw, both souls shattered. 

After what seemed an eternity, Hermione's sobs subsided but neither of them moved. They stayed entangled in each other bodies and what seemed after a decade of silence Hermione said, "Harry, I'm tired." 

"Okay, let's get you in the bath and I'll cook dinner then you need to get to bed." 

He helped her up stairs, and then he ran her a deep hot bubble bath, lit some candles and left her to it. 

He walked along the hallway into baby Gwen's room, she was staying with Hermione's parents. The whole reason Harry had gone was to see if Gwen could home, but from earlier it was obvious that she couldn't. Harry decided that Gwen could stay with him for a while. 

As he walked down the stairs he looked at the wedding photos, at all those smiles. He shook his head and carried on walking down stairs. 

He knew that gone were the days of Hogwarts, joint holidays, drinking, laughing, loving smiling, and of the inseparable trio. 


	2. piano

Hey there, I just wanna say a great thank you for all your reviews they are very helpful, also I just wanna say a huge thank you to my friend Fi for being so nice and Fi -ish. (If that makes sense??) This fanfiction is for her but I hope you all enjoy it. This chapter is just a bit of a "filler" but loads more is to come so keep reading loads of lurve *Elentari* 

Harry pulled up to the driveway. The house was small, two upstairs rooms two downstairs house, Hermione's mother had sold the large house and moved into this one after her husband died two years ago. 

Harry knocked on the door. His eyes were tired - he hadn't slept much the night before, he was so worried about Hermione. 

He got out the car and rang the doorbell. Hermione's mum answered, looking tired and drawn. 

"Hello Harry my dear. She's through here." Harry followed Mrs. Granger through the lounge into the kitchen to where Gwen was. He looked at the beautiful baby girl in front of him; she was barely nine months old. She was just like Ron, she had his bright blue eyes but her hair was more auburn. The most haunting thing was that when she smiled her face lit up like his did. 

He went to her and picked her up. 

"Hello sweetheart. You're gonna come stay with me," he cooed. 

He gathered her things and went towards the door Mrs. Granger kissed the baby, saying "Bye sweet," then she turned to Harry with a smile and said, "Thanks for all you've done." 

"It's fine, don't mention it." he kissed her cheek and put Gwen in the car. And solemnly and silently they drove home. 

Once Harry got home he changed Gwen and feed the ever-aging Hedwig. 

Even though he didn't acknowledge it subconsciously he was still in a very deep shock about the death of Ron. It had all happened very very quickly - he had seen him one day, even drank with him, and the day after Ron was swept from the earth forever leaving a wife and child far far behind him. 

  


The next day (after being up three times with Gwen in the night) Harry got up tired and depressed. He was finding it hard to cope. Like Hermione he wasn't sleeping much and even though he loved Gwen she was another added stress. 

After trying to get Gwen ready for forty-five minutes Harry went to Hermione's house, in weather which matched his mood: Dark and Grey. 

He pulled up to the drive way, the house looked empty. None of the curtains had been touched since Harry last left two days ago. He didn't bother ringing the doorbell - he knew he wouldn't get an answer, so he let himself in. Holding Gwen in both arms he began the climb up to the attic room, he knew she was there because of the distant sound of someone playing the piano. Hermione was an amazing pianist, she had played for many years but of course not whilst at Hogwarts - there were more important things to do than sit around playing piano then. 

As he got closer and heard what she was playing, he could hear the same part being played over and over again. He recognized it straight away, it was from Phantom of the Opera. Hermione and Ron had gone to see it a while back. She kept playing certain notes over and over again. It took Harry awhile to figure out what they were and then he heard it "Da da da da daa daa da da dum" she was playing it over and over. He remembered the words "Wishing you were some how here again." And she kept playing it. 

He went into the room where she was, but she kept playing. She didn't look up or acknowledge Harry and Gwen in any way. She was in the same clothes she was in last time Harry saw her. 

"Hi Hermione. Look who I brought to see you." Harry advanced towards her at the piano but she didn't move. He tried again "Hermione look, Gwen is here." Hermione looked up at Harry. 

"Hello Harry." 

Gwen was ecstatic to see her mother again, it had been two weeks since she had last seen her and for any child that is a long time. She wouldn't stay still in Harry's arms so he passed her into Hermione's hands. Hermione took her in under the arm, but didn't move her close to her body. She looked into her child's large blue eyes. Gwen smiled at her and gave a little giggle. 

The smile pierced right through Hermione's heart and for a second she saw Ron. Ron's smile. She saw Gwen's face light up like Ron's. 

Harry watched all this happening and to his horror Hermione just moved her hands apart and Gwen began to fall to the floor. 

Harry lunged and grabbed the baby just before she hit the ground. 

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" Harry shouted at her. 

Between being dropped and Harry's shouting Gwen became very distressed and began to bawl. Harry held her close to his body but his anger at Hermione was bubbling up inside of him. 

"You could have dropped her." 

Hermione said nothing, she just sat there. 

Still fuming Harry continued. "Don't you care you just nearly dropped your child?" He straightened up and looked down upon her. "Hermione you gotta snap out of it! She is your child! You have to take care of her!" He softened his pitch. "She is your child, you need to care for her." 

Hermione turned her back on him and said "Take her away with you. I don't want her here." 

"What?" Harry said very quietly. He was in shock because Hermione had just shunned her own daughter 

"You heard me. Take her away." 

Harry said nothing. He stormed out of the house with Gwen and put her in the car. He sat in the drivers seat and burst into tears. 

He could hear in the house the repeated "Wishing you were somehow here again." Over and over whilst his soul poured out it's deepest sorrows. 


	3. The passing

_Ok, this is the third chapter of "Wishing you were somehow near again." I apologise that it has taken me nearly a year to post but as I wrote this last July I was feeling the same feelings Harry feels about the Weasley family. I have re-edited this many times since July and now think it ready. This chapter became a vent for me to express my emotion I have taken most of it out now that all is well again and all that is left is what I believe and have experienced when something tears a family apart. I hope you enjoy it there is one or two or maybe more chapters to go I'm not sure yet but I promise it won't take me a year to write!! I'm sorry for it's length but I didn't want to make it into two small chapters._

Elentari-Ellenaxx

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Harry felt the horrible lurching feeling in his stomach and heard Gwen's crying somewhere in the distance. His head spun, he felt sick and then suddenly everything came to a stop. Harry's vision corrected itself and he looked out onto a lush green meadow. The sun glistened in his eyes as he looked at Gwen; her face was red from crying on the journey through the portkey. As Harry looked around and walked towards the gathering of people by the stream, a feeling hit him that he couldn't describe. Out all of the things he had done, every evil he had faced, this was the hardest. Harry knew what it was like to lose loved ones and friends but how was he going to get through this? Ron had always seen him through. Now with Ron gone who could help him?

As he got closer to the group he recognized Arthur Weasley and Bill and George. A quick smiled flashed across his face then in turn he nodded at the members of the party.

"Morning Harry. If only I could say it was a good one."

Harry gave another nod of acknowledgment.

"Well, let me see her." Arthur said holding out his arms.

"Oh of course," Harry said, passing Gwen to him. Gwen smiled and Harry saw George flinch slightly. He turned, shook his head, and walked slowly towards more people arriving through the portkey. Arthur led Gwen down to the stream; Harry looked at them for a second then turned to Bill.

"How are they all doing?"

"Ok. They're ok. Dad's putting on a bit of a brave face, but he cries when he's alone with mum - I've heard them. Mum not so good, she hasn't slept in days, she tries to smile but can't help but cry."

"I took Gwen to her last week. I can't see any of Molly Weasley left." Harry said looking at Gwen.

"I fear this could kill her," Bill said, shifting his gaze to the floor.

Harry looked at Bill and remembered the first time he met him and how cool he thought he was. Bill had aged well and he still had the fang earring in his ear, much as his wife hated it.

"How is Hermione?"

"What, sorry?" Harry said leaving his thoughts.

"How is Hermione?"

"Oh. She's ok." Harry said not even managing to convince himself.

"No really, just tell me, Harry. My parents are wondering why Gwen is not back with her mother yet."

"It's just all a little too much for her right now."

"But she's her daughter."

"She can't have her just yet that's all. We tried and it didn't work." Harry looked at Bill and lowered his voice "She's said that she wants nothing to do with the child anymore."

Bill was taken aback he said nothing, thinking. "My mother mustn't know of this."

"No, I know."

"God, I can't believe Hermione."

"I know. It's hard - she is so hurt at the moment."

"That doesn't excuse her trying to deny her own flesh and blood."

"I know, but we can't help the situation."

More people gathered. Harry greeted Remus and Seamus Finnegan and Neville Longbottom and a few other friends from his days at Hogwarts as Molly, Ginny and Fred came through the portkey. Harry went up to Molly and she hugged him tightly. Then he hugged Ginny, he felt her tears on the back of his neck. He hadn't been this close to Ginny in a long time; he felt a slight tingle of peace in his soul.

Once everyone else was gathered Hermione and her mother arrived. Hermione looked as tired and as gaunt as Mrs Weasley. Harry greeted her, then they were ready to begin the ceremony.

Mr Weasley began to talk. "Today we are here to witness the passing of my son Ronald Weasley. He was my youngest son. Ron was a wonderful man, he struggled through life but he lived bravely." Mr Weasley coughed slightly " Many criticized my son for his actions but he fought the darkest of evils and did what he thought best. He died in the service of others and served every one of us here until the end of his life. He loved his life, his family and his children. Now I wish to let my child rest in peace.

Charlie then started to sing "As thy passeth into the world of the next remember me. As thy passeth into the world of the next we will remember and honour you. May your journey be safe and your passage short and may you rest in peace."

Once Charlie had finished all the male members of the family got into a rectangular formation. Arthur Weasley stood at the head of it, next Bill and Charlie were opposite each other, then Fred and George and lastly Harry at the opposite end. All the other mourners then formed other rows behind them.

Arthur Weasley drew in a breath and said, " Molly and I knew from an early age he had the potential to be someone great and although we could not always give him the best, we did what we could and he proved himself great. I couldn't be more proud of my son. He loved his wife and child; he loved his friends, and not once stopped loving his family. I love him and honour him today." He looked up at his wife then said in a booming voice;

" Apparuslismonage!"

Very slowly Ron's body formed on a purple velvet rug.

Arthur turned to Harry. Harry took this as he cue. He sighed.

"I loved Ron, he was the greatest friend I have ever had, right from when we were on that first train to Hogwarts. I owe him my life, as he risked his so many times to save mine. At first I thought he was gone forever but when I began to speak to people I realised how many people he had touched and I know that his memory lives on. He left us a piece of himself here with us in his daughter Gwenyth; he left so much of himself in her we find it hard because he lights up in her every time she smiles but she is a beautiful living memory of him and we should be glad to have her. My only wish is to be half the man he was but even that I think is out of my reach, for no one could of done a better job of being a human being." Harry looked up and caught Molly's eye as she dabbed them gently.

Ginny now stood forward she looked quickly at her father who gave her an encouraging nod then looked at Ron.

"I grew up with Ron and he was the sweetest man I ever met. I love him, he's my brother. People may tarnish his name for eternity but I know he was right. I respect him, I love him and I don't..." tears welled in her eyes. "I don't know how I am going to cope without his guiding hand."

Mrs Weasley was too overcome to talk. She shook her hand when it came to her turn.

Hermione stepped forward and for the first time she spoke.

"Ron taught me everything I know. How to love, and to relax and live instead of studying all the time." A brief smile crept across her face. "And in death he taught me that wizards are just humans. You see we tend to forget that don't we? We think that we are superior to muggles. Smarter, more advanced, but we are not. Deep down we are just the same and death comes to us just the same. Magic couldn't save him for pity's sake it killed him! What does magic do for us? Nothing. We work and live like muggles and we die like muggles. We are no better than they are!" she paused and the rage inside her subsided "I love Ron. He gave me all what is good in my life. Bless you Ron Weasley, I will return to your side one day again."

Arthur moved uncomfortably. He knew he had to speak, to do this, but he didn't think he could keep his composure much longer. He swallowed hard and looked up. "Wands out!" he bellowed.

Then all the brothers and Harry took out their wands and regimentally turned in to face Ron. They then pointed their wands at him and on Arthur's nod they shouted

"DepartaRynus!"

A burst of bright light came from the wands and engulfed Ron's body. He slowly started to rise into the air. When he was just above their heads a smile appeared on his face. The light intensified then tiny pieces of white light shot up into the air and scattered and Ronald Weasley was no more. A large gust of wind swept over the field then silence... Nobody moved or said anything until Ginny's screams shattered it.

"No, no!" she ran to the rug where he had been laid but Charlie caught her in his large muscular arms and hugged her firmly whilst she cried. Harry glanced at Charlie; they made eye contact. Harry saw something had never seen in Charlie - pain. He saw Charlie's and as he looked around at everyone else he saw his or her individual pain. The Weasley family had completely disintegrated; he felt the destruction in every bone of his body. His soul, heart and body went completely numb as he looked at George chasing Fred who had left the party. Mrs Weasley stood by her husband's side. Then Harry linked eyes with Hermione. She looked at him for a second and then turned and walked away from him. Instinctively he grabbed Gwen from Remus and ran towards her ignoring Remus's confused shouts. He began to run to catch up with her. He shouted behind her "Hermione, Hermione!" She ignored him and kept walking "Hermione stop."

He grabbed her arm and turned her round.

"Get your hands off of me." Hermione snapped

Harry raised his hands showed her his palms. "Ok, ok, I'm sorry. Where are you going?"

"I don't know." She started to walk again. Harry found it hard to keep up with her - Gwen wouldn't stay still.

Remus called Bill over and pointed at the pair of them. Bill started to walk towards them; Remus followed having to trot to keep up with Bill's pace.

"Hermione STOP!" said Harry exasperated.

"What?" She said aggressively as she turned.

" Aren't you going to stay with the family? I'm sure Molly wants to talk to you."

"No."

"Hermione they need you."

"Yeah? Well I don't need them."

Harry's anger was building up inside him.

"When are YOU gonna realize that we are all going through this? Stop thinking about yourself! We all need to get through this."

"Who needs me?" But before Harry could answer she carried on. She shouted at him. "Thinking about myself? My Husband has just died!"

"So has my best friend! So has their son, and their brother, and so has her dad." He thrust Gwen at her.

Bill and Remus were now just feet away. Bill broke into a run.

"Get her away from me!" Hermione screamed. "I don't want her near! I hate her, I hate her! Don't you understand? I wish she were dead."

Harry stepped back shielding Gwen. He couldn't believe it.

"You Bitch. You Bitch, it's your daughter. His daughter. How can you say that?" Harry screamed back at her, tears flooding his eyes. He cradled Gwen next to him. Remus quickly took Harry to one side.

Hermione had already started to walk away. Bill went up beside her clasped his hand around her waist and spun her round and with his other hand he stopped her fist, which came towards his face.

"Stop it, you hear? What the hell are you thinking?" Bill spat at her through gritted teeth. Hermione struggled but Bill kept his grip "Do you really think my family need to hear that you hate all that is left of Ron?"

"Get your hands off of me! I don't care leave me alone." Hermione struggled free and walked away. Hermione's mother came up to Bill.

"Get her out of here, she has done enough today," Bill said, his gaze still on Hermione.

"I'm sorry Bill, really I am. I can't control her, the Hermione I love has gone. I think she died the day he did." Hermione's mother looked tearfully at Bill. "Give my love to your family." She touched his arm and followed her daughter through the portkey.

Harry walked with Remus and Bill back to the group.

"She doesn't mean it, she's just upset." Remus said trying to reassure Harry.

By the time he got back, many people had left. Harry went over to Molly.

"What are we going to do with Gwen?" Molly said

"She will come with me."

Molly nodded "Bring her to visit won't you?"

Harry nodded. He said his goodbyes to the Weasleys then went back through the portkey and took Gwen home.

Late that night he sat thinking. The last three weeks had been a whirlwind of emotion, he felt drained and numb. Then he thought of the other Weasley brother, would anyone have told Percy? Would he care? Exhausted, Harry went to bed. Rest brought Harry peace. No emotion could control him when he slept, but he knew when he woke they would bombard him once more.

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_That's it!! In the next chapter I'll explain how Ron died, promise!!_


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